From The Bruises Flowers Grow

Laura, 20.
In recovery from Bulimia.

I have a secret.
I’ve had a fair few secrets in my time, only some of which have been revealed.
But sometimes things just can’t be said. They’d never accept it.
They’d never look at me the same; they may never speak to me again.

Yet this secret is tearing me apart. My skin crawls at the thought of it; it’s not right. My mind is racing. I’m not making any sense.

I’m feeling fragile tonight. And I can’t sleep.

I feel empty. And deflated. Like a beachball in the middle of winter. I can’t concentrate on the work I’ve to do; I just want to curl up and sleep but I know I can’t. I feel overwhelmed and lost.

I don’t know what to do.

I’ve been working all of this week and I now am ‘on holiday’ until 11th August. I have other things going on but I feel a bit drained and empty at the fact I haven’t got the structure (more like distraction) of work for such a long time. I’ve got 3 trips to the theatre, 3 sports events, a trip to the coast, and some voluntary conservation work planned but I still feel anxious at the thought of having nothing to do some days.
I’m very much burying my head in the sand but right now I haven’t time (as such) for a complete melt down. In fact, with Uni starting again after summer, I haven’t time for a breakdown now until 2015 - yeah, I’ll last that long (pfft).

painsomnia:

Fat. I’ve put on so much weight. It’s my own fault.

I look and feel disgusting.

painsomnia:

Fat. I’ve put on so much weight. It’s my own fault.

I look and feel disgusting.

mission-em-possible:

If you reblog this post and complete this survey, you’ll go in the draw to win a letter and package of NZ goodies from meeee!!! ;D image

Anybody at all can answer, I’d love as much input as possible! :) End date is 1 June. Will post ANYWHERE and yep, it’ll probably cost me a fortune. Have your say for the giveaway :D x

(via mission-em-possible-deactivated)